I was probably an unusual child that has grown up to be an unusual adult. Number one, because we were half Hindu and half Protestant, there was no place for us basically. The Jewish school in Rathgar at Stratford College took us. I didn’t know I wasn’t Jewish until I was seven, which was a shock when I found out I wasn’t.”

I’d love you to hear the wonderful, rich, wide-ranging conversation I had with Nadia Ramoutar on The Coffee at Eleven Show recently.

In one tiny segment alone she introduced the team and I, as well as our wonderful live audience, to a new word, ‘partipulate’.

“…I’d be like, I’m not easily controlled because I see manipulation usually fairly far in advance. I will ‘partipulate’, which means I will participate in my own manipulation if it suits me, but I won’t otherwise.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, I invite you stick on the kettle, grab a coffee, and find out more about yourself by listening to this most interesting woman in your preferred way.

Enjoy. We did.

Yours Truly: Ladies and gentlemen, you are more than welcome to another episode, Episode 98 of the Coffee at Eleven Show brought to you by WIG-WAM Global. Delighted to have you here. Thanks for joining us. In particular, I’d like to welcome my very special guest, a fantastic lady, I’m really excited about chatting with about all sorts of stuff. No idea where the conversation’s going to go today. It’s Nadia Ramoutar. Nadia, please pop in and say, hello, cheers us with your coffee mug.

Nadia Ramoutar: Cheers. Thanks so much for the invitation. Delighted to be here. I was very fortunate that when I was nine, and I have to be careful, she might be on here, I got flagged as having trouble, and I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I literally remember my mother saying to someone, “Well, she’s not very smart, but at least she’s pretty.” I remember her saying something and she said, “Well, I said you were pretty. You’re never happy. You’re never happy. You never say enough.” I just did a course recently, a masterclass with Roxane Gay. I don’t know how many of you know her. She wrote Bad Feminist, which I’ve been accused of being. She’s amazing, amazing woman. She said, “I refuse to be put in a box. I just won’t, and I will be whatever I want to be.”

People get this, I’d be like, I’m not easily controlled because I see manipulation usually fairly far in advance. I will partipulate, which means I will participate in my own manipulation if it suits me, but I won’t otherwise. I think we have a mutual friend, Raymond Sexton, and probably one of the things that I shared with him was I am the chooser of my own choices. If I’m living in something, or I’m doing something, most likely, I chose it. Now, sometimes we choose willingly and sometimes we choose unconsciously.

Yours Truly: Two quick questions if you don’t mind before we go there. The first question is, what are you taking with you from Covid that you’re not letting go of?

Nadia Ramoutar: That we need one another. That we’re not an island, that we need one another. We may be on an island, but we’re not an island. We need other people. We need to do the inner work. I think that’s it. I mean, we can’t run all our lives into retail therapy, or shops, or pubs, or bottles, or whatever. We can’t keep running and we can’t keep hiding, and at some point we have to face ourselves.

Yours Truly: Wow, great stuff. Lovely. Thank you. You meet somebody out there, or you’re asked to give advice to somebody out there, somebody that you love that’s struggling on any given day. What would you say to them?

Nadia Ramoutar: Go gently. Go gently. There’s too much pressure for self-help that you’re, as I like to say, you’re cracked, but you’re not broken. Go gently. If you’re having a hard time today, rest. If you can find the courage to say something to someone, do that. People care a lot more than we realize, and people think we’re okay. Like I’d be a decent actress. I portray my, I know Ida is on here. One of my favorite actresses, Eilish O’Carroll. I could portray myself as doing very well, and no one knows I’m not. I sometimes think that we pretend too much, and I think that it would be really great for people to realize that everybody has struggled. Everyone we meet is, for me, I know there’s people on here who have no idea I was attacked when I was 19, and are a bit like, “Well, how come that never came up before?” How do you bring it up? The truth that I would say Colm is that there is a lot of resources out there, but you have to make yourself ready.

People want to talk about the law of attraction, the law of attraction. I don’t think that’s the issue. I think it’s the law of allowing, which is much less spoken about. The law of allowing is you have to allow it in. You have to let it in. You have to absorb the nutrients of love, the nourishment of the sun, the beauty of the flower. You have to allow it, and that’s the challenge. The challenge is removing the blocks to love. My goal is to each day, just increase my capacity to love.


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